Three People in Your Church

I have discovered there are three types of people in every church—customers, owners, and investors. Your members will be motivated based on the group to which they belong.

1.  Customers – When we think about customers, we first think about a consumer who never wants to contribute. However, a customer is simply a person who comes to church for what is in it for them and their family. When searching for a church, most will be asking questions such as, “Do I fit in? Is the Word being preached? Do I like the music? Can I make friends here? Do they have programs for my children?” We want to know the “value” the church has to our life. If people stay at the customer level, they will never have a commitment to the church or its vision.

An apt illustration is when we go to a restaurant we really enjoy. We notice there is a new menu—and with it price changes. Now the steak you want is more expensive. The value has changed. You don’t complain, you simply eat your meal and don’t go back. 

Like a restaurant customer, the church customer may join and participate in activities. However, he is there because the value is good for him. When the price gets too high (giving, serving) or the perceived value is lowered, he does not usually cause problems—he just leaves.

2.  Owners – I love owners. They are usually committed to the church and have demonstrated loyalty and heart to serve. However, if there are problems in a church, it will usually come from owners. When the value changes for owners, they do not leave graciously, they complain or even revolt. If your favorite restaurant is one where you meet your friends every week, or have been a local patron for many years, you are not immediately going to try somewhere else. You may try to appeal to the manager, but if, in the end, you are not satisfied you will be upset and decide to go elsewhere.

When change occurs, those who are owners will often appeal humbly in the beginning. However, owners are the ones who eventually write the letter to the congregation, sign petitions, and gather followers to their cause. I recall when the music changed at one church, a member approached the worship leader, and with great anger said, “I can’t believe you stole my church!” Owners are motivated by their love for the church and their need to remain at a comfort level with change.

3.  Investors – These are the owners in the church who have bought into the vision and desire the kingdom to grow through the church. They want to invest their lives in the eternal. These investors can be compared to those who have either financially invested in the restaurant or vested in an emotional way. They seek solutions to problems and look to the future welfare of the business.

The investor in the church is usually an owner who sees beyond himself, through the eyes of God. He does not ask how a decision in the church will affect him, but how it will affect reaching the non-believer. The investor is motivated by vision—one that expresses love for God and others.

As pastors, we need to recognize where people are in their journey. Then we need to lead them to step up and become an investor in the kingdom. Only then will they grow to become loyal Christians who truly follow the Lord’s heart.

What do you think?

Leadership by the Pitch

Over my 30 plus years of ministry, God has taught me much about leadership. Life experiences in the pastorate have brought many lessons, some of which I would like to share with you over the next few weeks.

The first is that I need to lead by the pitch. During my pastorate in Atlanta, I had the privilege of planting a church. Even as I look back, I feel my motives were good. I wanted to reach people for Christ and help them grow in their faith. The church grew rapidly the first five years. However, the area where the church was located began to change, and church growth became more difficult. Being a highly driven person, I placed tremendous pressure on myself to top the successes of the previous years. I began to take greater ownership of “my church.” The once godly motives had turned into a pressure to perform. My joy for ministry was waning.

When God convicted my heart of the error of my way, I relinquished that ownership and began to relax my ambitions. I turned the ownership over to God. I was no longer a slave to success, but the pendulum swung too far—there became a leadership void in the church.

Jesus said, "And I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades shall not overpower it." (Matthew 16:18)  Paul added, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth." (I Corinthians 3:6) Realizing I had backed away too far, I asked God to define my role as a pastor/leader.  Since only Christ can grow the church, what was to be my part?

God gave me the answer in a most unusual place.  I was reading a newspaper interview with Atlanta Braves pitcher, Greg Maddox.  Maddox was in the midst of winning four consecutive Cy Young awards, as the league's best pitcher.  At the time, he was pitching well but the Braves were not scoring enough runs for him to win consistently.  The reporter asked, "What is the problem?" Maddox’ response was, "It's not up to me to win the game, but to make the right pitches." That was it!  It's not up to me to grow the church, but to obey God and allow Him to use me in a pastoral leadership role. The pressure is not on me to win the game, but to obey Him in each step He desires me to take. I am to work hard and make the pitch the best one I can throw. God calls the pitch, we make it, but He ultimately wins the game. This has been one of the most liberating leadership lessons of my life.

What are the right pitches? They are different for every leader. In upcoming blogs, I will share some pitches that God has led me to make, and the resulting lessons I learned over the years.

I hope you find these helpful.

Relationship Barriers

Life is about relationships. If your relationships are good, life is good. If your relationships are bad, nothing else can substitute. Many come home to a distant marriage, where every word must be weighed. Parents arrive home to hear their teenager run upstairs to avoid conversation. Others are worried because they are at odds with someone at work.

Jesus says the whole law can be summed up around two relationships. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40.

All law can be summed up in loving God and loving people. Often our relationship with God is far less complicated than our relationships with others. Repairing our relationship with God is one-sided. God does not need to be fixed. Our relationships with others are more complicated because we deal with weakness, blind spots, stress, and lack of communication on both sides. Why are relationships so difficult? I believe there are at least seven barriers.

1.  We want to love and be loved for own sake. We reach out to others because we need a friend, not to be a friend. There are many self-help books on how to be a more loveable person, but not many on how to be a more loving person.

2. We have blind spots. There are areas in our lives we do not see. Our loved ones may see a weakness in our lives, but we are blind to it.

3. We desire mutual love. It’s very painful to love someone more than they love you.

4. We place others before God. Our happiness depends on someone else’s happiness. This is often seen in our relationship with our children. If they are unhappy, we are unhappy. This is because someone other than God is on the throne of our lives.

5.  We want the same type of love that we give. However we express our love, we want others to express love to us in the same way.

6. We want the same kind of logic that we give. This can cause a breakdown in communication. Either we cannot logically express ourselves, or we cannot see another’s way of thinking.

7.  We hide behind masks. We’re afraid people will find out who we really are.

The beginning step to good relationships is humility. It’s only as we humble ourselves before God and receive His grace that we can give grace and understanding to others.

 What do you think?

For further study on relationships, you can view my series of messages at  http://crosslifechurch.com/sermons/

Elders?

There is no one, universal church polity in the Bible. Different churches operate in different ways. As long as churches do not violate Scripture, are effective, and meet congregational approval, I’m sure there is merit to them.

However, in recent times, elder rule has become the “new wave” among churches that, at one time, were more pastor-led and congregationally approved. I have heard lectures on the reasons for the change, and in my spirit, I have some sincere concerns—especially with the reasoning.

Let me say that I am not seeking more authority in my church. Our church is well structured, I believe, both scripturally and practically.

That said, here are five reasons why I cannot support elder rule.

1.  Elders being appointed lay volunteers is not in Scripture. The office of elder, bishop, and pastor is the same office in the New Testament. In Acts 20:28, Paul says, "Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers [bishops], to shepherd [feed] the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” The new role of lay elder seems very much like the old deacon role still found in some churches today.

2.  Lay people are not always equipped to deal with the myriad problems in the church. Even pastors trained and called to ministry sometimes succumb to pride and control. Once given power, it can be difficult to manage that power in the heart.

Historically, we find that like deacon rule, many would-be elders may seek the office in order to have a measure of power in the church. Some will be asked to serve based on their affluence or influence, rather than their walk with God.

3.  Lay people have their weekly jobs. It’s difficult to be up to speed with the daily challenges of a church if you do not live with it every day. This may result in the pastor having a great deal of influence over the elders, who then have influence over the church body. The pastor becomes the authoritarian through the elders. This centralizes the power to a few, and decentralization of power is often a reason given to have elders.

4.  The reason often given for adopting elder rule is that too much power in one person (the pastor) can lead to corruption or dictatorship. Using this reasoning every college should have two or three presidents, every business several CEOs, every family multiple dads. There is, after all, a chance of corruption in any position of leadership. The church, it seems, is unjustly targeted for the sins of a few, and is the only institution called upon to have multiple heads.

5.  Biblically, the pastor is the leader of the church. Paul wrote letters to Timothy and Titus, pastors of the New Testament. The seven letters to the seven churches in Revelation were written to “angels or messengers” – the pastors of the churches. Churches need to call a pastor trustworthy and continue to trust him as he leads.

Of course, there must be checks and balances in every church and the pastor should welcome them. However, the pastor will always be the one who must answer to God and the people for the health of the church. If he is going to have the weight of responsibility, he needs to be given the authority to carry out these responsibilities.

 

What do you think?

10 Things I want My Children to Remember Forever

Part 2

If there were only a handful of things you could teach your children, what would they be? As young parents, my wife and I centered on 10 things we felt most important to impart to our children. Last week I shared the first five. Here is the rest of my list.

6.  Forgive others. Relationships are of great importance in everyone’s life. Without forgiveness, long-term relationships are not possible. People make too many mistakes, lose their temper, say and do the wrong thing, and fail far too often. Matthew 18:21, 22 teaches, “Then Peter came and said to Him, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven...”

7.  Do the right thing. 1 Peter 3:17, “For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.” The key to doing the right thing is found in the Bible, where we should gain our strongest convictions.  Doing right both reveals and produces integrity and high character.

8.  There is always a price to pay. Galatians 6:7 says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” The law of the harvest teaches we reap what we sow. We can either pay the price up front (education, preparation, pay cash) or pay the price later (lack of career choices, credit card interest, etc.) There is always a price to pay.

9.  Never give up. Hebrews 10:36, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.” We cannot accomplish much if we quit. Quitting is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

10.  Follow Christ. Obviously, that’s most important to me. Many children have joined the church and have been baptized. Too many parents relax after these events, believing their child “made it in.” But, was there really a life change? Is Jesus their Lord? There is nothing more important than your child receiving Christ and following Him.

What are you teaching your children? What would you add to this list?

10 Things I Want My Children to Remember Forever

If there were only a handful of things you could teach your children, what would they be? In last week’s blog, I mentioned that we often err in our approach to problem solving because we believe in the basic goodness of man. Yet, the Bible teaches us that we have all sinned and are in need of help. This is why there is so much teaching in the Bible on how we should raise our children. 

The Bible says, “…foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.” (Proverbs 22:15). It teaches us “…to train up a child in the way he should go…”(Proverbs 22:6). What do you teach them? You can teach your child many things, but there are only a handful you can emphasize and plant firmly in their hearts.  When we were young parents, my wife and I centered in on these ten things:

1.  Love God supremely (Deuteronomy 6:4, 5). Who we love greatly determines our goals, interests, passion, and priorities in life.

2.  Place God first consistently (Exodus 20:3). Every gift of God is a potential idol. It’s easy to worship the gift more than the One who gives it. Idols can vary from money, fame, popularity, family, or career. Idols will always let you down.

3.  Believe the Bible completely (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7). The early Jewish nation was instructed to teach the Bible to their children. Why? Because the Bible is God’s Word. It gives us instruction, wisdom, and leads us to know God. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.”

4.  Trust God tenaciously (Proverbs 3:5-6). My kids needed to realize that they were always better off trusting God than going their own way. Sometimes what we see, hear, or experience seems to contradict our faith. Our children need to understand we do not know the whole truth on any matter. Only God knows the whole truth. We must trust Him to receive the blessings He has for us (Hebrews 10:36).

5.  Stand alone courageously. Research shows that nine out of ten children do not possess the natural courage to stand against the crowd. People often form their beliefs based on the beliefs of the group they most want to be a part of. Therefore, if we do not teach our children to stand alone, it does not matter what else we teach them.

6 – 10 coming in next week’s blog…

What do you think?

Gun Control

Recently we have seen the escalation of terrorism and random shootings in America. Two hundred and ninety-four mass shootings have occurred in our nation over this past year.

There are those who say the problem is a lack of gun control. The argument is, if we take the primary instrument of killing out of the hands of people, we can greatly control, or even stop the shootings. The opposing argument is, if we take guns away from law-abiding citizens, then only criminals and mentally deranged people will have them.

However, we need to see the fundamental logic used for gun control. The premise is that mankind is basically good. If a person acts in a violent manner, then it must be something outside of him/her that causes the dangerous behavior. These outside forces may include religion, weapons, upbringing, culture, or poverty. Are we basically good? Is it really a gun problem? Let’s consider these arguments:

1.  In 1960, about half of all American households had a gun. Today it is down to 45%. Yet, violence and random shootings have skyrocketed this century.

2.  The Bible teaches in Romans 3:23, “… for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…”   That means we all have a sin nature. Something is missing in our hearts. Socialist, Beatrice Webb, considered the founder of socialism in the United Kingdom, once had an epiphany and revealed her frustrations with the socialist movement by admitting that there is something evil in the heart of every person that keeps them from consistently doing the right thing.  History testifies to war and violence long before guns were invented. The problem of violence is not the instrument in the hand, but the darkness of the heart.

3.  The recent occurrences of violence have centered on our younger generations. These are the most educated, enlightened, and blessed generations in American history.  Part of the answer lies in the way they have been raised. They have been taught, “Believe in yourself. You can do anything you set your mind to.” While this sounds encouraging, it is very misleading. We cannot do anything we want. Believing in yourself has limits. Many parents, have “been there” for their children, and have done so to the point of producing over-protected, over-privileged, and under-accountable children. We have tried to protect them from every disappointment and when these children progress into adulthood, they find that the world is not as compliant as their parents. This leads to them becoming discouraged, frustrated, and often depressed, producing anger and a greater chance of violent behavior.

4.  Their culture teaches there is no absolute right or wrong. God is in doubt; His rules do not apply—do as you please. With God out of the picture, there is no purpose or meaning to their lives.

The only solution is to change the heart—to change our center of being, where we operate in life.

Jesus Christ offers that to everyone – Romans 10:9, 10 teaches us,

“…that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.”

What do you think?